High School Musical Advent Calender

I saw this in Target a couple of days ago.

So sad.

I wonder if little girls think that Jesus has come again in the form of Zac Efron.

On the shelf next to it was a Hannah Montana one…

Coles Checkout Girl

I just got home from the supermarket and had an interesting experience I thought was quite entertaining. 

I’m cheap. I’m a uni student; I can’t afford the best. So I bought myself a  packaged garlic bread marked down to $1.20. 

When I got to the checkout I noticed that it was opened and mentioned it to the checkout person. She then proceeded to put her grubby little hand inside the opening and touch the bread. She then stated: “It’s still cold. Do you still want it?” 

I wanted to say: “who cares if it’s cold. You touched it, why would I want it!? That’s disgusting!”

But I really did want it, cause I’m cheap. So I thought it through in my mind and came to the conclusion that the oven would cook off the majority of a checkout person’s germs and I’d be fine to eat it. 

I’m yet to eat the contaminated food and will report on whether it causes me any devastation. 

End.

Sweet is Revenge

5 years ago I took revenge on my brother for never changing the toilet rolls.

The filth that is a cigarette

I saw a man and a woman sitting next to each other, one was holding a less than 3 month year old baby.
I was disgusted to see that both adults were smoking while this baby was sitting there having to inhale the filth.

Those of you who know me would know that I despise cigarettes and I will be openly (and loudly) frustrated and disgusted if someone smokes near me.
I personally think it is one of the most disgusting (wow, I’ve said that word a lot) things that is accepted in society. Feel free to tell me other things that are disgusting
and accepted, but this is gross.

It does no one, I repeat; NO ONE, any benefits.

It doesn’t make you look cool.
You smell appalling, all the time.
You’re teeth go yellow and black.
You’re fingernails go yellow and brown.
You smell appalling! (I really want to emphasise this. No amount of chewing gum or diet coke will fix it)
It costs a ridiculous amount of money. (This is something that I couldn’t care less about how much tax the government puts on)
Whoop-dee-doo; you lose weight. But your just stacking on the cancer.

Get the hint. Smoke near me and I’ll tell I don’t like it.
But I don’t have a problem with you, I just hate cigarettes.
Hey! I may even like you, but I don’t like cigarettes.

However, when I see people smoking with a baby or while they’re pregnant; I have a problem with you.

Have a good week! Go cats…

…maybe they’re not so bad

Happy Birthday! Dear Stephen, We would like to wish you a happy birthday and hope the coming year is prosperous and full of happiness! From all the staff at Etax Accountants.

DISCLAIMER: Whilst every care has been exercised in the compilation of this email, Etax, in making it available to you, will not be liable for errors or omissions in the material or data in this email, or for any consequences arising from such errors or omissions. This letter should not be relied upon as a substitute for detailed advice.

TERRIBLE TAX SERVICE

This ‘etax’ service is terrible. Don’t ever use it. I recieved little help at all. My tax is so simple that it shouldn’t take a month and a half to process.

I could have handed in a form very simply through the tax office and it would have been free. I would have recieved every cent of the money that I was taxed in the financial year of 2007-2008. Instead this dirty company took over $90 from my refund of only $277!!!!! It wasn’t Australia’s money it was mine!!!  But they took 33.35% of it for themselves. Mhmmm! They did. They dirty, dirty scoundrels!

I recommend no one using their useless, so called; service. Here is a copy of the emails that were sent back and forth between myself and some work-experience accountant. I know, that’s harsh. They’ve probably been working as an accountant for 300+ years. Yet their quality of work is that of a money-hungry uni student. I know his/her thought process:
“Hmmm, this guy didn’t earn over $6000, therefore he gets all his money back. That’s not right. We won’t profit off that… I know!! Let’ s charge a ridicously exorbitant amount. We haven’t done anything, but we’ll still charge him for that.”

Yeah, that’s fair!

I hate etax Australia!!!! Here is the link that I think you should block from your internet directory https://www.etax.com.au

Please tell all your friends and family to not use etax! I’m only doing this because I promised them that I would!

BTW: read from the bottom up…

29/JUL/2008 13:53:26

Web Message From: Stephen Horman To: Etax Accountants Wow, that’s odd. I wasn’t told that it was going to be that much. And it took me asking you where my money is, to let me know that it cost that much. I found you’re services very frustrating. I think your slogan is quite inaccurate. You made tax much harder for me this year. And I’ll never use this service again. I’ll probably also advise all my friends and family/everyone on my emailing list to never use this service. Thanks for not much at all.

29/JUL/2008 12:25:57

Web Message From: Etax Accountants To: Stephen Horman Thank you for choosing Etax this year. You have chosen the payment option of Fee From Refund that is why we have deducted $92.40 from your refund.

28/JUL/2008 20:09:32

Web Message From: Stephen Horman To: Etax Accountants Why did I only recieve $184.60. The previous email I recieved from you stated that I would get $277. So far my experience from etax has been hugely dissapointing. Please respond as to where the rest of the money entitled to me has gone?!?!?! Steve

14/JUL/2008 11:44:18

Web Message From: Etax Accountants To: Stephen Horman Thank you for your information. We advise your estimated refund is $277.00. If the ATO has additional information the tax refund may differ from this estimation. We are sorry for the delay – We will now lodge your 2007 tax return. The progress of your tax return can be tracked on our website. Please remember you must keep a printed copy of your return receipts and other evidence for five years from the date your tax return is lodged. Please note that the Tax Office advises that they do not issue refunds until 14 July. They do process tax returns in the order they are received so your refund should issue shortly thereafter. We are pleased to be of service to you.

14/JUL/2008 11:41:53

Email From: Stephen Horman To: Etax Accountants To whom it may concern, I lodged my 2006-2007 tax return on the 16th of June and have yet to hear of any confirmation. I haven’t received any payment and I haven’t been notified of anything!!!! What is most frustrating is that I’ve been billed. That’s right, I was charged for the service but as far as I’m concerned I’m yet to receive any service! I was told it would take around 2 weeks to receive the funds!? Is this figure more like a month? Please respond with any information about where my money is? I am a university student and I’m trying to organise centrelink but this is a real struggle with no information on my tax return! Stephen Peter Horman

18/JUN/2008 10:02:19

Web Message From: Stephen Horman To: Etax Accountants I didn’t earn over the $6,000 in the 12months. I have been previously informed that there is no point in trying to apply for these types of deductions because I haven’t earned enough to get them back. Please respond. Also, as a side note. None of the deductions mentioned below apply to me. I am a full time student and was living at home with parental support in those 12months of July 06 – June 07.

18/JUN/2008 09:03:47

Web Message From: Etax Accountants To: Stephen Horman Thank you for using Etax this year. Our accountants have reviewed your return and have the following query: Please make sure you have included all of your income. This includes any money you may have received from Centrelink (excluding the Family tax benefit) and any allowances or lump sums on your PAYG certificate. What is your occupation? Did you have any of the following deductions? 1. Work or study related car expenses? provide engine capacity and the number of kilometres travelled. 2. Work or study related travel expenses? 3. Work uniforms with company logo or protective clothing, laundry or dry cleaning? 4. Union Fees? 5. Telephone or mobile calls? 6. Home office expenses? 7. Donations? Please provide the expense type and the dollar value to be claimed. Only provide the expenses that you can substantiate. You can only claim up to $300 without supporting receipts. We await your reply before finalising our review.

Geelong McDonalds

Went through the drive thru at Maccas at about 11:30 tonight (Sun night). There was one car in front of us (they ordered coffee) and no one else at all inside the store.

We waited for a good 10 minutes to get two meals!!! And I managed to get the attendant’s dirty mits all over my straw. Thank you girl at Maccas. Can I catch warts!?

TeEnaGe StuPids

thiS is Just AnoTher bLog to aDd to tHe generAl annoYanCe cateGory (as pEr jOhn-PauL’s recOmmenDation.

It rEalLy aNnoyS me wHen stUpid TeenAgers wrIte WiTh randoM capItal leTters. iS it to act coOl or jUst to pIss me oFf?

And wHy thE heCk do TeenAgers tHink brIght pOo colouRed trAck PanTs loOk coOl. In my oPiNion; ‘They are in no way stylish’.
fOr thOse thaT wEar theM juSt at Home; thanKyou. I unDerstAnd tHat theY are prObaBly hiGhly coMfoRtable, bUt thEy aRe in no wAy to be woRn ‘oUt’.

PS. ThIs bLog tooK me aLmoSt 3 tiMes as Long aS noRmal to wRite beCaUse of tHese stUpid CapiTal letTers.

Is that an apology?!

I was at a Wedding the other day. It was very very hot! I had my sunglasses in the top pocket of my suit jacket that was hanging over my arm as I was leaving the chapel (where the ceremony was held).

As I was stepping out of the crowded doorway I heard a crack. As I turned, a lady tapped me on the shoulder and said to me; “Did you drop your sunglasses?”
Upon checking the top pocket of my jacket I replied; “yes.”

She then responded with a quaint little statement. As she pointed to a table, she said; “There they are, I trod on them.”

Wha-! WHAT IS THAT!!?? No apology necessary lady!!!!
I understand that it was an accident and that it wasn’t her fault but she didn’t even grant me a proper sentence!!!!!! What is that!!!

They were all bent out of shape and as I proceeded to put them on, the lens fell out. Oh, it was messy!

All I ask for next time, lady, is proper grammar when ruining my belongings.